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On a Tuesday morning, a student walked into my office with a smile that belied the upheaval she had just experienced. In the span of two weeks, she had packed up her life in Virginia, flown across the Atlantic, and was now navigating her third high school in four years. By Friday, she was already wearing the blue and white of our school, and asking about how to get involved with sports.

For many adults, that kind of disruption would feel paralyzing. For military-connected kids, it鈥檚 life. And in that life lies what we call the hidden curriculum of resilience.

What Is Hidden Curriculum?

Educators often use the term 鈥渉idden curriculum鈥� to describe the unspoken lessons students absorb at school: how to line up, how to negotiate friendships, how to navigate authority.

For military-connected students, however, there is another hidden curriculum that takes shape not in classrooms, but in the daily realities of military life.

This curriculum includes lessons such as:

• Frequent moves teach adaptability, courage, and the art of starting over.
• Deployments and separations teach independence, empathy, and responsibility.
• Global living teaches cultural agility, perspective-taking, and a unique awareness of the wider world.
  

None of this is spelled out in a syllabus, but these lessons are learned just as deeply as anything in any other course.

Resilience in Action

Students' resilience challenges us to rethink how we design and lead schools.

In our hallways, resilience looks like a student who, after saying goodbye to friends for the fourth time, still chooses to walk into a new cafeteria and sit down with strangers.

It looks like a teenager who wakes up at 3 a.m. to catch a bus to another country, spends the weekend competing in an athletic event, and is back in class Monday morning, ready to learn. It looks like friendships formed quickly, because military kids understand the urgency of time and the value of connection.

What strikes me most is how these students often turn their resilience outward. They remember what it felt like to be the new kid, so they become the first to wave someone over, the first to say, 鈥淗ey, sit with us.鈥� Their strength doesn鈥檛 just serve them; it strengthens the community around them.

What Schools and Educators Can Learn

As educators, we have much to learn from these students. If they can adapt, so can we. Their resilience challenges us to rethink how we design and lead schools.

• Design for flexibility. Our systems must anticipate mid-year arrivals, sudden departures, credit transfers, and learning gaps. We can鈥檛 build schools on the assumption that every child starts in August and ends in June.
• Prioritize belonging. Simple rituals like a student ambassador program, a welcoming message, and a teacher who knows their name on day one can mean everything. Belonging is not accidental; it must be engineered into our culture.
• Balance empathy with high expectations. Resilience is not an excuse to lower the bar. Instead, it鈥檚 a reminder to pair challenge with care. High expectations, when coupled with understanding, send a powerful message: We believe in you.

Just as important, we must be careful not to romanticize resilience. Yes, military kids are adaptable, but frequent moves, deployments, and uncertainty are also genuinely hard on our youth.

Recognizing their strength should go hand-in-hand with offering them stability and support.